Poem Portal #4: Bad Old Hockey Game


hockey night

I am proud to be Canadian.  Canadians love hockey, right?  Let’s rephrase that to be accurate: many Canadians who are into sports love hockey.  Unfortunately for hockey night in Canada, I grew up a sci-fi geek with zero appreciation for any sports whatsoever.  This meant I became very unpatriotic when hockey interfered with Star Trek.  In May 2001 (when I was 13), major interference occurred.  The airing of the series finale of Voyager was delayed by a hockey game in overtime.  I knew that once the hockey game was finally over, Voyager would be the program we joined “already in progress”; I’d have to wait for a re-run to see the whole episode.

While I waited, I wrote this song (to the tune of “The Good Old Hockey Game”):

Chorus: Oh the bad old hockey gametvhockey

Is the worst game you can name!

And the worst game you can name

Is the bad old hockey game!

Verse 1: The day is fair, I couldn’t care,

It’s Voyager tonight!

Tension grows, we sit in rows,

And await the treat of the night!

The adults call and the children fall,

Before the blaring screen,

Someone roars: “What a bore!”  It’s a dreadful hockey scene!

Chorus: hockey sticksVoyager3

Verse 2: Will Chokotay die?  Will Janeway fly

The Starship home to France?

Will the baby live?  Will Seven give

Her emotions one more chance?

Will Neelix come?  Will the doctor become a normal man on Earth?

We could’ve known, but the show’s been thrown into hateful hockey turf!Commbadgepuck

Chorus:hockey sticks

Verse 3: It isn’t fair, they couldn’t care,

For them it’s all okay,Voyager

But what of us?  We’ll make a fuss,

They mustn’t have their way!

We’ve waited long, so I sing this song,

In hopes of good TV,

We’re in suspense, but they’ve no sense,

It’s a hockey catastrophe!

hockey sticks

By jcmlott

2 comments on “Poem Portal #4: Bad Old Hockey Game

  1. Oh, I can relate. Hockey was a big factor in my house, but I was always waiting for Star Trek or Twilight Zone or anything like that…love you poem, lol.

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